Donna, 44
"I started going into perimenopause the year after my son was born. I had just turned 40. Heart palpitations were a very common symptom. The attacks twice landed me in the emergency room, where a male doctor told me I had 'holiday heart' from playing, eating and having one glass of wine at a Memorial Day picnic."
"When he left the room, the nurse, who was 43, came back in and said, 'Let me really tell you what's happening.' She described my symptoms and the reasons. Her last words were, 'Women just get these at our age.'"
"I am not a candidate for hormone replacement therapy, because of family histories of heart and ovarian cancer. Since I spoke to that nurse, I have found some neat methods to help with my growing number of hot flashes, night sweats and irritability. Exercise, rest, not sweating the small stuff and nutrition have helped. My doctor didn't really touch on any of these alternative methods, but I found them out on my own. I have increased soy and found a great soy and flax cereal bar that has really helped, too. I get hot flashes much less frequently since upping soy in my diet. Why it works, who knows? But it does. Also, I have begun to see a counselor every other week. It helps to vent!"
Rebecca, 50
"I am a CEO of a large public relations firm. I'm very active. I run 25 to 30 miles per week and have for 20 years. The onset of my perimenopausal symptoms was at 45, and they came on fairly sudden. I had severe insomnia and anxiety, heart palpitations, minor depression and inner trembling sensations. The anxiety was so bad I couldn't even get on airplanes. I was still having regular cycles, though. I bounced from doctor to doctor. My ob/gyn, whom I love, and my family physician, kept saying, 'Becky, it's nerves. You're under a lot of stress.' I've heard this story so many times. I was prescribed Xanax® (an anti-anxiety medication). My symptoms were somewhat reduced, but the problem was still there. My anxiety returned with a vengeance when I went off Xanax."
"I went through a gambit of tests, and had insomnia real bad, and horrible panic and anxiety attacks that were so bad, I couldn't even get on airplanes. And I'm trying to run a company, and I have children. I bounced around to several doctors over the next year and a half. My mother kept telling me, 'Becky, it's your hormones.' Every doctor dismissed my suggestion that it might be hormonal, because my FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) test was normal. I started going to a psychiatrist, and after three sessions, she said she thought it was a physical problem."
"I tried things on my own, like soy-based products, but they didn't do anything. Finally, I discovered a doctor, Dr. Elizabeth Vliet, founder of HER Place, who had done an online interview about menopause. I couldn't believe what I was reading on the computer screen. She described my symptoms perfectly. I ran out and bought her book, Screaming to be Heard, the Hormonal Connection Women Suspect and Doctors Ignore. I made an appointment with her, and saw her three months later in Dallas. She ran a full battery of tests of my hormone levels. At the clinic, they talk to you about lifestyle, eating and exercise. They look at everything you're doing. All that plays into how you feel and your symptoms."
"Dr. Vliet started me on an estrogen patch Climara®. That helped. I immediately slept seven hours that night. But I'm a runner, and I found the patches peeled up on me. With some fine-tuning over the next few months, I was ultimately put on a regimen of Estrace® (micronized estradiol, which is from plant sources), and low-dose testosterone. My symptoms totally disappeared. Here I am almost four years later, and I feel fabulous. I sleep like a baby every night, and I have no more anxiety or depression."
Bernie, 48
"Two years ago, I noticed some strange things going on with my period. I'd get it, then I wouldn't get it. Toward the end of 1999, I remember skipping a month, then having a slight period, then I never got my period again. I had some hot flashes, but at the time I didn't know what they were. Then in the spring, after not having my period for four to five straight months, I started feeling very depressed and just different. I had night sweats, and at 4 a.m. every morning, I would wake up and want to take the blankets off. I also had a lot of anxiety."
"Finally, I went to the doctor, and he put me on Prozac®. He didn't want me to be on hormone replacement therapy, because my mother had breast cancer. He also put me on an osteoporosis drug, Fosamax®. About six months later, I noticed that I was much more relaxed and wasn't having night sweats any longer. Since I felt as if I was getting better and I didn't like the feeling I had on Prozac - it gave me dry mouth - I decided to stop taking Prozac myself after being on it for about eight months. I just quit cold turkey. I didn't know I should have gone off it gradually."
"Then last year I had a bad summer. I cried. I had so much anxiety built up, but I didn't know if it was my new job or if I was still going through menopause. I probably should have gone back to the doctor and asked him to put me back on the Prozac, but I didn't. I just stayed nuts all summer. My family didn't know what to do with me. I just went back for my annual checkup a month ago, and I told the doctor how crazy I felt last summer, that I had gone off the Prozac on my own, and that I was feeling better now. The depression and anxiety just wound up going away on its own. But going through menopause was the pits. I felt lost throughout the process."
Margaret, 58
"I was 45 when I started having heavy bleeding. Basically, that's all I recognized as a symptom that I was heading into menopause. I later realized, though, that I was having anxiety and depression. When I went to my gynecologist, he said it was too soon for me to be going through menopause. (My mother didn't go through it until her early 50s.) He sent me for a sonogram because of the bleeding, and said I had fibroids that would probably shrink as I went into menopause. I had to separate what was going on in my life with what was happening physically. I had a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression, and I kept gaining weight. I went on like this for another five years. At 52, I started having hot flashes, and things started getting worse. I had lots of depression, lots of mood swings and sleepless nights. It was really awful."
"Finally, I went back to the doctor. By now, my regular gynecologist had retired. His partner tested my hormone level and said it was low. He put me on hormone replacement therapy (Prempro®) and that helped. It leveled out my emotions, irritability, and some of the physical symptoms went away. I felt 99 percent better. I had been on Prempro for about three years, and I started having more cystic breasts to a point where every time I went for a mammogram, I had to go for a follow-up ultrasound. My doctor and I discussed this, and he took me off Prempro and put me on Premarin® (an estrogen) and Prometrium® (an oral progesterone). But that made me feel breathless. Once again, it was back to the doctor."
"This time, I talked with my doctor about trying something natural to see how that worked. I really didn't want to take HRT if I didn't have to. So, I started eating soy, taking fish oils and Promensil®, (a plant estrogen made from red clover), which is supposed to be very good for your breasts and help with cysts. The trouble was, it didn't work hardly as well as the HRT. All the symptoms I had in my early 50s, came back with a vengeance. I still had night sweats, and hot flashes, and the depression was unbelievable."
"Again, I went back to the doctor. He wanted to put me on an antidepressant, but I didn't want to take one, so he put me back on HRT - Premarin and Provera, but at half the dose. He wants to keep me on it for another year, and see how I feel. If things are better, he'll take me off. It's working and I'm back on track. Sometimes I'll get a very mild flash, but I can deal with it. For me, the benefits of being on HRT outweigh the risks."
Wanda, 49
"I used to laugh at this woman I worked with. She was always complaining about how hot it was in the office. She was about eight years younger than me, and I used to kid her. I'd say, 'Girl, you're gonna go through the change before me.' Then one day, I noticed that I felt hot, too. Also, I didn't feel like myself. I couldn't concentrate. I was depressed and anxious. I had a feeling I knew what was going on, because right about the time, my periods started getting strange - really heavy one month, light the next, then I'd skip a period. I also had trouble sleeping, and mood swings would go along with that. I was a mess, and it started to affect my work."
"I talked to my doctor about what I could take. She suggested I try something natural first, and see if that worked. If not, she said she'd talk to me about certain drugs that might help. But I'm not a big drug taker. She mentioned taking Remifemin®, which is made from some herb (black cohash). I didn't really like the sound of that, but she said it was safe and didn't have any side effects. So, I started taking it. At first, nothing happened. It took a few weeks to really kick in. Finally, a little over a month later I started noticing that I was able to sleep again, and I wasn't as moody. My husband even noticed the difference. He jokes about me taking my happy pills."
"I still have hot flashes, now and then, but I just sneak over and push down the thermostat in the office so I can cool off. The other thing I do is keep a secret supply of chocolate in my desk. It improves my mood, too. My friend, who's always complaining of being hot, laughs at me now, but I tell her I'll see if she's laughing when she goes through menopause."
This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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