Dylan, 13, was hanging out at a friend's house when one of the other kids with him starting smoking marijuana. Asked to join in, Dylan said, "no" and went outside with a friend. "He kept after us, saying we were losers, but we just left, and me and my friend never went back," Dylan said.
"Refuse, then leave." This is one of the strategies that 3,500 middle-school students learned during a drug-resistance program in Phoenix, Ariz. Is your son or daughter prepared to do what Dylan did if school chums offer them tobacco, alcohol or other drugs?
Instead of telling teens to "Just Say No," it's better to teach teens how to deflect offers of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs from friends without alienating their peers, says research from Penn State University.
"Teenagers need more than just willpower to resist peer pressure to use drugs. They need the ability to avoid situations, usually during leisure moments, where drug use is most likely to occur. If they can see temptation coming and plan a verbal defense, they have a much better chance of saying no without causing themselves or their peers to lose face," says Michael Hecht, Ph.D., professor of Communication Arts and Sciences at Penn State University and a leader in the Drug Resistance Strategies Project.
Hecht helped develop the federally funded drug resistance program used by seventh graders in Phoenix's 35 public schools. He also co-authored a book on teen substance abuse called Adolescent Relationships and Drug Use.
Preventive strategies
Here are some tips and strategies from the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information that you can use to help your child steer clear of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs:
Know your child's friends. Teens are usually offered drugs by friends, Hecht says. So ask where your kids are going when they leave the house, who they'll be with and what they'll be doing. Get to know your child's friends and their parents.
Be involved. The "danger zone" for drug use is between 4 p.m. and 6 p.m. So try to be home when your children get off the school bus. Establish special times during the week to do something with your child and plan as many meals together as possible. Have your children participate in adult-supervised after-school and summer activities because teens are most vulnerable to using drugs when they are hanging out with nothing to do, Hecht says.
Talk to your children about drugs. Tell your children often that you don't ever want them to use tobacco, alcohol or other drugs. Use role-playing to help your child practice ways to refuse drugs. If you're a good listener and communicator, your child will feel more at ease to talk to you about drugs.
Establish rules. Set a curfew and enforce it. Stop in at your child's party to make sure there is adult supervision. Make advance arrangements for your child to leave a party if he or she feels uncomfortable. Reward good behavior with a hug, a pat on the back or a special treat.
Help teens realize their friends will accept them if they don't use drugs. Teens see and hear so much about drug use on TV and in movies that they often overestimate how many people are actually using drugs, Hecht says. Parents and youth counselors need to give teens information showing fewer people are using drugs than they suspect.
Old school is out, so get REAL
Prevention messages seldom work unless they involve teen input (a key part of the program in Phoenix). Understand the adolescent culture and speak the teenager's language. For most adolescents, their relationship with friends of both sexes and the need to be accepted outweighs the "War on Drugs" and other adult warnings about the dangers of taking drugs, according to Hecht.
In the pilot program called Keepin' It REAL, students from Phoenix's South Mountain High School produced a series of educational videos teaching drug resistance strategies based on middle-school students' real-life stories. The four key strategies of Keepin' It REAL are:
R - Refuse: A simple "no" works many times, Hecht says.
E - Explain: "I'm not that kind of person" or "No, I don't want to smoke because it makes me sick" are appropriate replies.
A - Avoid: Teens can decide to stay away from parties where drugs are likely to be used or plan in advance how to avoid drugs at the party, Hecht says.
L - Leave: Like Dylan, teens can learn to just leave. Or, they can steer the conversation away from smoking marijuana or drinking beer by suggesting a drug-free activity to their friends.
This article was reviewed and updated June 2007.
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